A lot has happened at Hall since the last issue of Highlights. Here are some things you might’ve missed:

• School shut down (we’re hoping this isn’t the first place you’ve heard that). At Hall Highlights, we aren’t sure if that was the best decision. After all, how was the virus supposed to enter the school without a parking permit?
• On the topic of parking, the Board of Education is responding to student complaints by creating new temporary parking spaces to accommodate a growing number of student drivers. When school returns, students will be able to park on the side of the road, on the tennis courts, and in Gym B. They are currently debating a proposal to build a parking garage on top of Eisenhower Park.  
• Junior boys, taking a cue from their female peers, created a Facebook group to ensure that no one wears the same tuxedo to Prom. There is one key difference between the two Facebook groups though: in the event that Prom is cancelled, the tuxedos were rented.
• As the cast of Pops N Jazz dealt with the great disappointment of their show being cancelled mere days before opening night, many reported feeling empty and aimless. “It isn’t all of the rehearsals, or the camaraderie that I’ll miss the most,” said one Choralier. “Now, I just don’t know what link to put in my Instagram bio.” 
• #SeeASatireWriteASatire. We nominate InfoWars, the Onion, and the state-run Beijing Daily.
• Khan Academy, the popular online learning site, announced that they will become a fully accredited online high school, starting this May, as they respond widespread school closures due to the coronavirus. Khan is looking to win over students at traditional, brick-and-mortar, institutions by offering athletics (a competitive e-sports team), better food (Uber Eats replaces the standard cafeteria fare), and an autoplay feature for video lessons to mimic the rush of a four minute passing time. 
• The Hall Honor Flag flew at half mast last week for all of the students who showed up to online classes in bed. “I am very disappointed at the number people who thought it was okay to wake up three minutes before your period one Google Meet and roll over to join on your phone. As we push through this online schooling experiment together, we must uphold certain standards of academic professionalism,” Mr. Zittoun wrote in an email to the student body. “Sent from my iPad,” he signed.
• Library evictions reached a new high in the month of February. Spurred on by SATs and senioritis, students flocked to the library in record numbers, only for many to be turned away. It was not an uncommon sight to see huddled students lining the hallways, begging for scraps of reading material.