“I’m sorry, who are you?”

–Kirkus Reviews

“How did you get this number?”

–The New York Times

“Do not contact us again.”

–Entertainment Weekly

Are you the proud parent of a smart little lawyer? Do you want your child to be able to dazzle their peers with language far more advanced than their reading level? 

Then you’ll love Law Lingo for Terry-Stop Tots, a comprehensive A to Z law dictionary for your pint-size prosecutor to tear through!

A is for Alimony

Alimony is when two people get a divorce and one person has to give the other one money. Might want to rethink that trial separation!

B is for Bureaucracy

Ever heard of going through the red tape? That’s what bureaucracy is all about: the boring systems of government that lawyers are always working with. 

C is for Court-Ordered Paternity Test

Sometimes, when a woman has a baby, she just doesn’t know who the daddy is! In some cases, a judge will say there has to be a court-ordered paternity test to figure out the truth.

D is for Driving While Intoxicated 

Grown-ups can sometimes have a little too much fun, and then they might try to drive themselves home. It can be dangerous to handle a car in this state. We call this action driving while intoxicated, and it’s a very bad idea!

E is for Embezzlement 

When you get some money, make sure to spend it as you intend it, or else you might get locked up for embezzlement. 

F is for Forced Auction 

Uh oh! You’ve spent all of your money, and have nothing to pay your bills! Those ravenous debt collectors will be kept off your back with a forced auction, where all of your stuff will be sold off to the highest bidder. Hope you weren’t too attached to it!

G is for Grand Larceny

Ever borrowed a pencil and not given it back? Watch out! Do that too much and you could be charged with grand larceny: taking someone’s stuff worth five hundred dollars or more.

H is for Hearsay

“That’s hearsay!” is a phrase that you may never hear in the hallways of your elementary school. Hearsay is information that you don’t know is true. In other words, it’s a rumor or gossip. XOXO, Hearsay Human.

I is for In Loco Parentis

Oh no! Your mom and dad have perished in a horrible fire, and you’ve been sent to live with your grandma and grandpa. You have your grandparents in loco parentis, in place of your parents. 

J is for John Doe

Sometimes law enforcement and lawyers don’t know who a dead person is, or the name of a witness. In those cases, the unknown man is called John Doe. John Doen’t let this be you!

K is for Kangaroo Court

No, this isn’t a court down under! A kangaroo court ignores all standards of law and justice. Way to be a trailblazer!

L is for Last Will and Testament 

When you die, who gets your stuff? Your last will and testament says who gets what when you tragically pass away. You’ll never get my Pokémon cards, Jake.

M is for Mayhem

Have you ever accidentally ripped off your stuffed animal’s arm or leg? Be careful! If you do that to a person, you could be charged with mayhem: maiming a person so they can’t defend themselves in combat. 

N is for Notary

A notary is a person who certifies documents. Many notaries themselves have a certification in being super freaking boring.

O is for Obstruction of Justice

Obstruction of justice is when someone does something to stop a court procedure. Like vegetables from your parents, justice will not stop being served!

P is for Parole

A period of parole is when a prisoner is released from jail but is still being watched. It’s like a time-out but for adults.

Q is for Quid Pro Quo

This for that, rat for mat, cat in the hat, lawn to mow, quid pro quo.

R is for Racketeering

Ever heard of the mafia? They are guilty of racketeering, also known as organized crime. A children’s movie about racketeering is in the works, to be named “Mob Boss Baby.”

S is for Squatter’s Rights

If you stay on someone’s property long enough, they can’t kick you out. Those are your squatter’s rights. Actually squatting is optional, but on your own property. 

T is for Terry Stop

A Terry stop is when the police stop you on the basis of reasonable suspicion of a crime. Contrary to popular belief, you or the officer do not have to be named Terry in order for this to be legal. 

U is for Unconstitutional

Corrupt rulings, illegal business deals, and the fact that Saoirse Ronan doesn’t have an Oscar are all unconstitutional: going against the US Constitution.

V is for Vehicular Manslaughter

Vehicular manslaughter is the death of a person due to an automobile. Believe me, no one is letting out any manslaughter at this heinous crime. 

W is for Workers’ Compensation

When you get injured on the job, you can be taken care of during your recovery with workers’ compensation. If you’re injured on the job and it doesn’t hurt that bad? Be like a male soccer player. Play it up (not too much: F can also be for Fraud!). Get some workers’ comp.

X is for Xenodochium

Xenodochium refers to an inn being allowed to have a reception and entertainment of strangers. Yes, this is a thing. We were surprised, too (and clearly scraping the bottom of the barrel here).

Y is for Youthful Offender

Any minor who commits a crime is a youthful offender. In addition, Paul Rudd is a youthful offender, because he does not age.

Z is for Zealous Witness

A zealous witness is biased in the favor of the side that called them to testify. Like a toddler throwing a tantrum, they’re not changing their mind. 

PRE-ORDER your copy of Law Lingo for Terry Stop Tots at 1-800-BOOKS for $12.99 and receive a FREE signed thank-you note from the author!