Transitioning from middle school to high can be challenging for everyone. Schedules are different (not really), classes are harder (not really), and more extracurricular activities need handling (okay, this one is true). 

Only a few people can find their way through the school year with absolutely zero help. To aid you with the beginning of your four-year sentence, I’ve created the ultimate handbook/guide/instruction manual/newspaper article with the steps you need to take to succeed in your first year. 

Let’s go quarter to quarter of the year to get a feel for how your stress will be divided throughout the year.

Quarter 1: Here We Go Again

This quarter will be the most important one of your year. You can expect many difficulties on the road ahead, starting with the PSAT: it literally means nothing, and you should disregard it entirely. Many teachers will tell you to study for the PSAT if you want to go to a good college. 

What they refrain from mentioning is that you take this thing three times. Just don’t suck all three times and you’ll be fine. After all, if you’re smart enough to take 50 honors classes, 19 clubs, and study at least 30 hours per day, you can score well enough without studying. 

That’s about all you can expect from the first quarter, just make sure to keep your grades low as possible to lower expectations for the next three quarters.

Quarter 2: Winter Break

Now is the time for time management. You must divide your time between playing video games, hanging out with your friends, and sports. Oh, right, and schoolwork. Since you lowered expectations in quarter one, you can actually start trying at school. Don’t work too hard yet, though. B+’s are just fine. 

The most important part of the quarter, however, is winter break. I’m sure you already know what it is, but most of you will not expect what comes after it: midterms. Teachers generally will only tell you about midterms about two weeks away (I swear they do this on purpose), which means winter break is your perfect time to absolutely neglect your studies and chill (see what I did there; please don’t stop reading). Midterms are overrated anyways.

Quarter 3: Wait, What Day Is It Again?

Okay, this is where things get serious. For all you smart cookies out there taking APs in your freshman year only because of a ridiculously planned change in math course tracking for the upcoming school years (I’m not jealous, I swear), this will be an essential quarter for you. 

Since I know you tryhards will take APs in your first year, I’ll add some critical advice: Getting a three on one AP exam won’t permanently demolish your chances of going to Harvard. In fact, shoot for a three; you don’t wanna look like an overachiever, do you? Or maybe you do? Regardless, the advice here is sacred, and you should follow it word-for-word. 

Quarter 4: Almost Finished

There’s not much that I can say about this one. Just follow the same advice you have in quarter two, except replace “winter break” with “spring break.” Also, spring sports. Those are fun.

Some final words for you to leave with 

Now that I have practically guaranteed you admission to an Ivy League (because that’s every freshman’s life purpose until they get to their junior year), I need to give you one highly significant piece of information that I have followed myself all throughout my years at Hall.  

Leave your work until at least 2:30 am; it’s the best time to get started and leaves you with plenty of time after school to relax. What, sleep? Nah.

In all seriousness, though, and this isn’t satire, Enjoy the school year.