Labor Day Shenanigans

Josie Wenner, Travel Guide Writer

 

A picture taken on my last Labor Day Weekend, in the parking lot of the best grocery store in the world (Wegman’s)
(Josie Wenner)

 

LDW could stand for many things. Long Distance Walk, for example. Getting that mileage in a leisurely way. Loud Dismal Wailing, when the house next door is haunted and the neighbors can’t find a ghostbuster to take care of it. Even Loads of Dour Widows is an LDW, and WidowCon 2022 will certainly be using the acronym. 

But the only LDW I care about is Labor Day Weekend. Lose Doubt you Won’t, for I Love Doing Work to bring you the Least Darn Weak guide you could ever find for stuff to do this Labor Day Weekend. Live Dlaugh Wlove your truth and enjoy your Lit Dcrazy Wmovie of a long weekend.

Let’s start with some local activities. You could go shark fishing. The world has a serious shark problem, and you could help alleviate it. 

In West Hartford, 12 people a month die in shark attacks. The majority of these attacks take place in the reservoir on Farmington Avenue. They keep sharks there because they make your drinking water fresher. 

To get to this premium fishing spot, you may need to get “reel” creative.  The employees are a part of Big Shark, and will try to stop you, but you can’t let them win. 

After you’ve gotten your sharks, you can take them to either Mystic Aquarium (if you want to do good for the planet) or the local night market (if you want to make some money). Regardless of what you do with the sharks after you catch them, you’re sure to have a blast in the moment. Enjoy your weekend on the water!

Another local activity, housed in Manchester, is the popular indoor ropes course, Soarin’ Indoors. This high-hanging haven has zip lines, cargo nets, and all the jungle gym fun your primate brain could ever want. 

This is also where I experienced true terror for the first time, at a friend’s birthday party when I was 10. It turns out that what goes up must not always come down, as I went up to the high ropes course but could not come down without tears, rope burn, and a staff member on a ladder. But you are surely more courageous than me at 10, and you can easily brave this super-fun local business.

For a budget-friendly activity, try your shot at digging that hole to China. Just because nobody’s ever done it before doesn’t mean it can’t be done. It’s cheap (all you need is a shovel), it’s easy (how bad can it be to just dig?), and it’s a one-of-a-kind experience that’ll let you one-up your classmates when asked what you did over the weekend. 

Make sure to pack a picnic lunch, because this activity could take a while, and lather up with sunscreen, as the earth’s core can reach temperatures of 9,392 degrees Fahrenheit. Get burnt, get turnt, get a new understanding of Chinese culture on this challenging yet doable LDW activity.

As a connoisseur of both exploration and days off of school, I think this guide to Labor Day Weekend is Loaded Down With fun things to do. It’s my greatest wish that you have a long weekend filled with Lots of Daring Wonderful activities. Enjoy!