When I was 8, I remember my moms announcing, “Obergefell means our family is safe now.” It would be an understatement to say my family was overjoyed with the Supreme Court’s decision to legalize same-sex marriage nationwide.
I had never seen my parents happier. Every burden was momentarily removed from their shoulders. I wish I could relive that moment. Hugging, celebrating, and crying tears of joy while I innocently thought the fight was over–we won, right?
Unfortunately, states continue to strip away the rights of families like mine and treat us differently.
I was born in 2007 to two mothers. At the time we lived in California, where they could both be on my birth certificate, but not legally married. They were 1 of 4,000 gay couples in California that got married in 2004, only to have their marriage license voided by the state soon after.
It took another uphill battle to re-legalize same-sex marriage in California, and 7 years until Obergefell legalized it nationwide.
The most recent example of the government reversing a decision that protects people would be Roe v. Wade. This decision was heartbreaking to my family, and made me realize how unprotected our rights are.
Since the overturning of Roe v. Wade, there has been talk about overturning Obergefell because the structure of the rulings are similar. I fear for my family because of this. What’s stopping the courts from voiding their marriage again?
There are still people who use me as a walking search engine when they learn I have two moms: “Are you adopted? How do gay people have children? Do you like having two moms? Does it get confusing? Who is your dad?”
I love sharing my experience, but I’m asked extremely vulnerable questions. Also, every family is different and the pressure to speak for everyone is unfair. My opinion and experience is unique.
Some people may justify these questions with curiosity/wanting to educate themselves. To these people I would suggest researching some things independently. I agree that dismantling ignorance is critical; however, gay couples should not be asked different questions than straight couples.
People asking questions like these and anti-LGBTQIA+ bills being passed force me to examine how much more work must be done. Gay families are not viewed by society equally. We’re moving forward and backward at the same time.
Some people are putting same-sex marriage protection on the back burner since Obergefell, but it is just as important to still protect and normalize gay families. Society has come a long way, but we are far from equality. We must continue to protect same-sex marriage.
I have to go now, my moms are calling me for dinner.
